Saturday, March 31, 2007
Feeling down in the gutter again, and it's always for the same reason.
Someone give me a nice, rough brick wall for me to smash my head against.
:'(((((((((((((((((((((((((
Sigh.
Someone give me a nice, rough brick wall for me to smash my head against.
:'(((((((((((((((((((((((((
Sigh.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
:DDD BOOYEAH! Only 3 exams left - a speech for English, roleplay and report for Japanese and Modern History! And then, I'm out of here! I felt so excited that I didn't want to study at all today, after having a three hour Japanese writing exam in the morning. Also due to the fact that I've got a three days grace before my next exam on Monday, and subconsciously I'm thinking, "GREAT, I can study up later. Let's party now!"
It's going to be one very busy weekend though. I've got the English speech to write, and a Japanese report to do too. Plus, completion of notes on India (which I am struggling to do, because of all the politics involved and thanks to our great History teacher who has taught us SO MUCH). Other than study, I've got soccer grading trials this Saturday morning, a Jazz band performance later that afternoon and a lunch with Ew-Jun on Sunday afternoon (I miss chapel, mwehehe)! I'm praying that I'll find time to study inbetween all of these things.
Earth Hour is this Saturday. Our school was the first school in NSW to sign up for the program, so the boarding house is participating big time. That means no electricity for one hour, from 7.30 to 8.30pm. Our boarding house has decided to take a walk down to the beach at night, which should be lots of fun.
Due to the soccer grading session this Saturday morning, I've got to get myself all the way back to our apartment just to get my boots and shinguards. I hate doing this myself, and with public transport. It takes ages, and sometimes I don't even know where to go!
So I wrote out a little memo to myself as to what I need to do.
It's going to be one very busy weekend though. I've got the English speech to write, and a Japanese report to do too. Plus, completion of notes on India (which I am struggling to do, because of all the politics involved and thanks to our great History teacher who has taught us SO MUCH). Other than study, I've got soccer grading trials this Saturday morning, a Jazz band performance later that afternoon and a lunch with Ew-Jun on Sunday afternoon (I miss chapel, mwehehe)! I'm praying that I'll find time to study inbetween all of these things.
Earth Hour is this Saturday. Our school was the first school in NSW to sign up for the program, so the boarding house is participating big time. That means no electricity for one hour, from 7.30 to 8.30pm. Our boarding house has decided to take a walk down to the beach at night, which should be lots of fun.
Due to the soccer grading session this Saturday morning, I've got to get myself all the way back to our apartment just to get my boots and shinguards. I hate doing this myself, and with public transport. It takes ages, and sometimes I don't even know where to go!
So I wrote out a little memo to myself as to what I need to do.
Train from Bondi Junction Interchange to Town Hall or Central
Train from Town Hall or Central to Circular Quay
Bus L20 (Limited stops) from Stand C, Circular Quay at either 10.32, 11.02 or 11.32am.
Train from Town Hall or Central to Circular Quay
Bus L20 (Limited stops) from Stand C, Circular Quay at either 10.32, 11.02 or 11.32am.
I read that it'll take me a good 40 minutes to get from Circular Quay to the bus stop outside the apartment. I'm hoping I read it wrongly. *facepalm* I don't think anyone is bothered to come along with me.
DAMNIT. Why do I still struggle at this kind of independence!
Cheers!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Missing the old days like mad.It's funny when I think about it,
how far we've come after this photograph was taken
December 7th, 2004.
We were in Year 9, AISM
and now we're in Year 12
seperated and gone in different directions.
Bizarre.
How time flies so fast.
I feel frightened at the thought of it.
---
The next two weeks are going to be a living hell. Our first major Year 12 internal assessment HSC exams, and of course, the first of more to come. I've been preparing myself for it for the past two weeks, and now the only other thing I can do is to pray I get through the seven exams as best as my ability can take me.
My to-do list. Lots and lots and lots
of things to do!
(Inc. Erinna's wonderful doodle of a certain someone
in a graph paper shirt)
Was recently just studying Maths.
Series and sequences. Just shoot me now.
And after that, on the day of my Japanese speaking exam I fly home. The only other thing that's driving me forward. I can't freaking wait. Oh, I can already taste the curry laksa on a warm morning at the Damansara local coffee shop, our table under a fan moving at it's highest speed - mm the smell of the uncle's char kuey teow and the noisy, busy chatter of working people of all classes having a local breakfast to keep their spirits up for the rest of the day.
I'm so hungry.
Cheers.
My to-do list. Lots and lots and lotsof things to do!
(Inc. Erinna's wonderful doodle of a certain someone
in a graph paper shirt)
Was recently just studying Maths.Series and sequences. Just shoot me now.
And after that, on the day of my Japanese speaking exam I fly home. The only other thing that's driving me forward. I can't freaking wait. Oh, I can already taste the curry laksa on a warm morning at the Damansara local coffee shop, our table under a fan moving at it's highest speed - mm the smell of the uncle's char kuey teow and the noisy, busy chatter of working people of all classes having a local breakfast to keep their spirits up for the rest of the day.
I'm so hungry.
Cheers.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Many apologies for the constant stagnation of my blog in entry-wise. I haven't been able to find enough time to actually get online most of the time during the week, and it's usually during the weekends when I am able to come online to do these sorts of things (MSN, blog, catch up on my LJ f-list).
My half yearly exams start next Monday, and to be honest, I'm very unprepared at this stage of time, with only five days till my Maths exam. Six to my Biology. A week to my written Japanese exam. It's stressful. I come back from school, and all I want to do is rest. You can't expect yourself to continue working for another two hours till dinner straight after studying for 5 hours at school, can you? No. I tried that once, and it proved to be very detrimental to my brain. My study plan is not really working out as well as I had expected it to be, and I'm getting more tired by the day.
I wonder about giving up. To simply put my studying to complete stop - I wonder if the belief that nothing matters anymore will get me through the HSC would actually work. Why do we work so hard for this one moment in our lives - the achievement of school, overall? It won't dictate our complete lives. It most certainly won't. The world out there is full of opportunities, and yet our eyes fail to look beyond this blockade in our journeys of life. I suppose it's partly for that wonderful sense of achievement - of doing your ultimate best and having the ability after that to show everyone else that you have done great. The sense of achievement that raises your determination to go further, to leap, to take the extra step with style and elegance.
Still, I question - why does it matter so much to us? Beliefs and values and attitudes of our parents, taught to us and put into practice. Oh, just imagine if nothing really didn't matter! The infamous acronym UAI didn't mean anything, and so did university. One might wonder - does that mean life is meaningless? And are we really driven by dreams and aspirations, or are we pulled along by the power of the values and attitudes of our society today?
Intense. Questions about existentialism keep floating about my mind, and it really makes me ponder. Damn my English transformation studies!
Cheers.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
I can proudly say that I had the best end of the week - possibly ever! I was feeling quite miserable from the workload, and the exam notifications, my last English assessment task (ranked 44/52 from 23/52, mmmmyay) and other little things - so this was REALLY great. I mean, FANFREAKINGTABULOUS!
Ohhhhh it started off with a bit of a chat up the stairs to the tennis courts in the morning (I was, in the beginning, feeling very unhappy about morning training, bbbbbut then!)... and then a few :)))))))) friendly encounters, oh, and not forgetting a conversation about a certain skeleton's missing front tooth, the colour pink (pink ties and shirts and oh just the colour) and liquid nitrogen (I freaking wish I did Chemistry. "Biology is a flower subject.").
OH IT WAS ALL JUST SO WONDERFUL. HELL, I'M STILL FEELING OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT. AHHHHHHH ROTFSQUEE.
I'd spent my past few days working on a boarders video presentation for today's Open Day. I'd come back to the boarding house during my free periods to take photographs, and in the afternoons I'd be editing them etc etc. Not only was it veryveryvery time consuming, it was so tiresome. You know, repeatedly CTRL+ALT+Iing every picture, SHIFT and UP and then type in 50 to PERCENTAGE and the image will decrease in size to 50% of it's original... Try doing that to 60+ photographs, and adding layers and changing brightness/contrast to some!
Ohhhhh it started off with a bit of a chat up the stairs to the tennis courts in the morning (I was, in the beginning, feeling very unhappy about morning training, bbbbbut then!)... and then a few :)))))))) friendly encounters, oh, and not forgetting a conversation about a certain skeleton's missing front tooth, the colour pink (pink ties and shirts and oh just the colour) and liquid nitrogen (I freaking wish I did Chemistry. "Biology is a flower subject.").
OH IT WAS ALL JUST SO WONDERFUL. HELL, I'M STILL FEELING OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT. AHHHHHHH ROTFSQUEE.
I'd spent my past few days working on a boarders video presentation for today's Open Day. I'd come back to the boarding house during my free periods to take photographs, and in the afternoons I'd be editing them etc etc. Not only was it veryveryvery time consuming, it was so tiresome. You know, repeatedly CTRL+ALT+Iing every picture, SHIFT and UP and then type in 50 to PERCENTAGE and the image will decrease in size to 50% of it's original... Try doing that to 60+ photographs, and adding layers and changing brightness/contrast to some!
(From left) Erinna, Mama Banks, Jude and me!*Note: Year 12 jersey on me.
Open Day was all right, I suppose. I didn't take any pictures, unfortunately. I should have though, especially during the liquid nitrogen demo oh looking grrrrrrrreat in a white buttoned down labcoat, gloves and safety goggles ohhhhh squee*. Aaaanyway, hmm, yes, it was very tiring. I had a tennis match at 7.45, which we lost by a point or two; rushed back to the boarding house to get ready for the tours. As part of the boarders council, you help out with the tours around the house and other little things like manning the boarders' display at the hall. Jude and I were in charge of the 11.45am tour, which to our fortune had no turn-ups - so we scrambled our way to the Science demo of liquid nitrogen (hehehe). I loved it. Again, WISHING I'd done chemistry intead of Bio! Visited the Maths department under Jude's wishes, which was quite enlightening - solved attempted some Maths problems with a few Year 8/9s.
Yeaaaaaaa bunch of music performances after that - messed up my House of the Rising Sun solo YET AGAIN, but this time it sounded excruciatingly HORRIBLE. Anyway, it's over now. What matters is the present.
Dad rang me up Friday night and asked me why I didn't want to go to uni. Ok, not that I don't want to go - I mean, I'd love to go to university... If they offered the course I want to do! I told him about Billy Blue and how I reallyreallyreally wanted to go. He seemed all right about it. Of course, every parent sees the day when they brag to their friends about their child studying some big ass business or law or medicine degree at a big ass university like UNSW or USYD. Or going to the states and the Ivy League crap. I hope he supports me no matter what. University or not.
Numbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbness in my legs!
I'm off to bed now. So tired x]
I hope everyone had a good week. End of the week, too. :D Hehe. I for one sure did.
Cheers!
Yeaaaaaaa bunch of music performances after that - messed up my House of the Rising Sun solo YET AGAIN, but this time it sounded excruciatingly HORRIBLE. Anyway, it's over now. What matters is the present.
Dad rang me up Friday night and asked me why I didn't want to go to uni. Ok, not that I don't want to go - I mean, I'd love to go to university... If they offered the course I want to do! I told him about Billy Blue and how I reallyreallyreally wanted to go. He seemed all right about it. Of course, every parent sees the day when they brag to their friends about their child studying some big ass business or law or medicine degree at a big ass university like UNSW or USYD. Or going to the states and the Ivy League crap. I hope he supports me no matter what. University or not.
Numbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbness in my legs!
I'm off to bed now. So tired x]
I hope everyone had a good week. End of the week, too. :D Hehe. I for one sure did.
Cheers!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody - means nothing. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do, to the people you say you love - that's what matters."
- Tom Wilkinson in "The Last Kiss"
- Tom Wilkinson in "The Last Kiss"
I'm feeling rather content about this weekend. I got a considerable amount of work completed, and I finally got myself to go to the gym and back on the treadmill.
I need to get back now. I'm a bit on a schedule right now. x)
Cheers.
PS. Can't get over that quote. I love it.
